Stinkerpants

Stinkerpants Wedding: the Ceremony Wording

October 9, 2008 in Our Wedding • Ceremony • Recap Photos

Yay!  As promised, here is the wording for our ceremony.  It is a mostly Jewish ceremony–there aren’t really any Chinese traditions I could find to incorporate.  Neither of us is religious, so it’s very light on the mention of God.  Please feel free to ask me any and all questions!

Parts of the Ceremony:
Entrance of 2 Groomsmen with Chuppah
Entrance of remaining 3 groomsmen
Groomsmen set up the Chuppah
Entrance of Officant
Entrance of Groom with Groom’s Parents
Entrance of Bridesmaids
Entrance of Bride with Bride’s Parents.
Welcome
Declaration of Support
Marriage Address
Reading (I Like You)
Blessing over the wine
Reciting of the Seven Blessings (Uncle Bob)
Vows and Exchange of Rings
Final Blessings
Breaking of the Glass
Exit of Bride and Groom
Organization of guests for group photo

(Welcome)
On May 8, 2005, under that tree over there (points)
Y and S began their relationship.
Here we are, three and a half years later,
to witness as they make their commitment official
in front of their loved ones.

Y and S have asked all of you to be with them today
because each of you has given something of yourself
into their lives.
Your friendship and love
will always be appreciated.
They welcome you here
and thank you for sharing this important day with them.

(Declaration of Support and Explanation of the Chuppah)
Y and S,
today we have come together
to celebrate the love you have found with each other.
By being here with you,
each of us is declaring our support
for your decision to join together in marriage.

The chuppah, this canopy which you stand beneath,
is a symbol of the marital home to be built and shared by the couple.
It is open on all sides to welcome friends and family.

Y and S’s parents
hold up the poles of their chuppah,
symbolizing the importance of family and friendship
in supporting and strengthening their
relationship and their home.

(Marriage Address)
Marriage symbolizes
the intimate sharing of two lives.
This sharing must not diminish,
but enhance the individuality of each partner.
You do not shed your individuality;
for it is what brought you together in the first place.
Marriage is the loving declaration
that you should be no one other than yourself.
A marriage that lasts
is one which is continually developing
and in which each person is
growing as an individual
while growing in understanding of the other.

It is not this ceremony
or the state of being married
that will truly join you and hold you together,
but your ongoing commitment to your relationship
and the kind of life you wish to make together.
In this way,
your marriage will not just be a word;
it will be more than that.
it will be an action: something you do every day.
It is not work, nor is it a chore;
it is a commitment which you want to see through
and you take pride in knowing that you are in this together.

(Reading)
Y and S have chosen to share with you a reading from “I Like You” by Sandol Stoddard Warburg.
::::Officiant hands us our orange “I Like You” books::::
We read from our books

(Blessing over the Wine)
:::We asked our officiant to say something about how that reading fits our personalities or something.  I don’t remember what she said, but I’ll update this when we get our video back:::

(Seven Blessings)
I would now like to invite Sara’s uncle, ____, to recite the Seven Blessings in Hebrew.
—-B reads the seven blessings in Hebrew—-
In English, these blessings can be interpreted as:

May you be generous and giving with each other.
May your sense of humor and playful spirit always continue to enliven your relationship.
May you always respect the diversity of humankind.
May you act with compassion to those less fortunate and with responsibility to the communities of which you are a part.
May you appreciate and complement each other’s differences.
May you always share yourselves openly with your friends and family.
May your home be a haven of blessing and peace.

This cup of wine is symbolic of the cup of life. As you share this cup of wine, you promise to share all that the future may bring. As you drink from this cup, so may you draw contentment, comfort, and happiness from your own cup of life. May you find life’s joys heightened, its bitterness sweetened, and all things hallowed by true respect, companionship and love.

(Vows)
Y and S have chosen to write their own vows
which they will now share with one another for the first time

Y reads his vows
S reads her vows

(Exchange of Rings)
:::Short Pause:::
Rings are adornments,
carefully chosen for their beauty and simplicity.
They quietly sit upon our fingers,
reminding us of the power of love
and the pledge of the wearer to his or her partner
to be faithful and true,
and to nurture their love so it will last a lifetime.
Y and S,
may these rings be for you always
your most treasured adornment,
and may the love they symbolize
be your most treasured possession.

Y, do you take S
to be your lawfully wedded wife and equal,
to love and to cherish,
from this day forward?

Y: “I Do.” (Y places the ring on S’s finger)
“I give you this ring as a symbol of my promise.”

S, do you take Y
to be your lawfully wedded husband and equal,
to love and to cherish,
from this day forward?

S: “I Do.” (S places the ring on Y’s finger)
“I give you this ring as a symbol of my promise.”

:::Put the glass down by Y’s foot, in preparation for the end of the ceremony.:::

(Final Blessing)
Y and S
on behalf of your loved ones
who are here with you today,
I would like to mention some of the things
we wish for you:

First, we wish for you a love
that is rich, deep and powerful enough
to inspire others and to support you both
in bringing forth the best that is within you.
May you lavishly love one another
and love being loved by one another,
today, tomorrow and always.

Second, we wish for you the kind of home
that will be a sanctuary for you both,
A place of peace, freedom, vitality, growth, and humor.
And within this home,
we hope that you are blessed
with a healthy and happy family
two and four-legged alike.

Finally, we wish that at the end of your lives
you will be able to look back
and smile upon the life that you have shared together,
pleased, satisfied, and fulfilled beyond your wildest dreams.

And now, by the power vested in me by the State of California
and the Universal Life Church,
it is my great pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife.

Mr. and Mrs. HerLastName-HisLastName,
you may now kiss for the first time as husband and wife.

(Y breaks the glass)
Mazel Tov!

—-Bride and Groom exit—–

Please don’t forget that we will be having a group photo right here.  If everyone could please organize yourselves over here (points to where the seating comes together at the corner), the bridal party will help show you where to go.

Stinkerpants Wedding: The Ceremony

October 8, 2008 in Our Wedding • Ceremony • Recap Photos

Originally, we’d planned to have some photos taken after everyone was dressed.  Unfortunately, that didn’t really work out.  We were missing a bridesmaid, and everyone seemed disorganized.  Note to self: don’t assume anyone has actually read the timeline you spent hours slaving over.  Anyway, I guess the bridesmaid went with the groomsmen the reception site; they didn’t want to be late for the trolleys, which they’d be riding to the ceremony site.  As it turned out, this was a good idea.  The DOC who was responsible for loading people on the trolley thought it would be better if she joined the other DOC at the ceremony site, so Y and the groomsmen had to direct guests onto the trolleys.  Meanwhile, my parents and I took a limo (I’ve never been in one!  That was exciting!) to the ceremony.

At the ceremony…one of my lovely signs!

My cousins Carol, Brian and Teddy surprised us with a basket of customized yarmulkes, which was so awesome.  They accidentally ordered too many for Teddy’s bar mitzvah a few years ago, so I asked if I could have the leftovers.  Instead of yarmulkes that read “Teddy’s bar mitzvah,” Carol ordered us our own, so we had some with our names and our wedding date in them!  So awesome.  I have a great family.

Here are a couple of our guests, showing the yarmulkes and the little parasols we provided:

The bridal party, lining up for the ceremony…

Y, being walked down the aisle by both of his parents (this is traditional in a Jewish wedding):

And then it was time for my parents and I!  My dad’s glasses are Transitions lenses, so they turned into sunglasses when we got out of the limo!  I noticed and he ended up taking them off for the ceremony, but I really love this picture with them on:

This is one of my favorite photos from the wedding.  I love my parents so much!

The guests, waiting for the ceremony to start (and reading the programs!  Yay!)

Time for me to walk down the aisle!  Can you believe the weather?!  It was amazing!

I think it’s funny that I’m looking directly at the camera.  I have zero memory of our photographer being there at all…I just remember looking at Y and having to fight back tears.

AAAAAH!  I love our chuppah!!!

We had two readings in our ceremony.  The first one was done by Y and I, from the children’s book “I Like You,” by Sandol Stoddard Warburg.  He read some lines, and I read some lines.  Although it’s silly, it made a few people cry during our rehearsal!

I seriously cannot believe this scenery.  I feel so incredibly blessed to live in such an amazing place on Earth, and to get to have our wedding in such a beautiful park!

Mazel Tov!

In a Jewish wedding, the bride and groom have some time to themselves after the ceremony.  We had a few moments to ourselves while the guests were organizing for their group photo.  We were then joined by our photographer for a few formal photos.

Heading back to the ceremony for the group photo…I loved that there were strangers at our wedding.  Everyone was super nice to us!

All in all, the ceremony lasted about 15-20 minutes.  We wanted to make sure that it was personal and fun, but we didn’t want to torture our guests by making them sit outside for a long period of time.  We were also worried that people might not be able to hear us that well–we couldn’t have any amplification because of some nesting owls near the ceremony site–and we didn’t want to bore or frustrate anyone. All in all, I think it was the perfect length.

The ceremony planning was a lot of work–we wrote the ceremony ourselves, and then we wrote our own vows.  I didn’t even know where to start when writing the ceremony, but some Weddingbee readers recommended “the Wedding Ceremony Planner” by Judith Johnson, which proved invaluable.  I also used the internet to learn about how to incorporate Jewish traditions.   It would have been helpful for me to have the entire transcript of a wedding ceremony to look at–what do you guys think?  Should I post the whole thing?

The Pros and Cons of Getting Married in a Public Park

September 29, 2008 in Our Wedding • Ceremony • My Tips

This post was originally featured on Weddingbee.  To see all of the comments, you'll have to check them out over there!

On my last post, a reader named Kelly made a comment that got me thinking: she said we’d chosen a less-than-ideal spot for our wedding, because it was a public park and strangers were talking.  It’s true–it wasn’t ideal in a few ways.  The park service was really difficult to coordinate with, and there weren’t any good bathrooms.  However, Mr. Stinkerpants and I haven’t regretted getting married at Crissy Field at all, not even for a moment.  Yes, there were strangers talking, but quite frankly, we couldn’t care less.   For those of you getting married at a public park (or those of you who are interested), here’s a list of the pros and cons of getting married at a public park.  Some of the reasons are specific to our location and to us, so they might not apply to you.  :)

The Cons:

• The logistics of it were a pain in the neck: we had a horrible time trying to get the permit for the spot because the park service is really slow.  They charge also charge a premium for the permit, just because it’s a wedding (I believe they are now charging $600, vs. $59 for a picnic in the same place).
• We couldn’t have amplified sound because birds nest close to the amphitheater.  This, combined with a few strangers talking around the ceremony site, made it kind of difficult for a few guests to hear.  Oops.
• There will be strangers around, and they might not do what you want (this really wasn’t too much of an issue for us).

The Pros:

• We were married in one of the most beautiful places in San Francisco: right by the bay, with the Golden Gate Bridge and the San Francisco city skyline as a backdrop.  It. was. breathtaking.
• We were married in a place that meant a lot to us personally; it was a significant location in our relationship (actually, this part means so much to me that it still almost makes me cry!)
• Strangers always love to see a wedding, and they tell you you’re beautiful, which always feels nice!  They also get really, really excited for you and wish you congratulations many times over, which was awesome for both Mr. Stinkerpants and I.
• It was fun for our guests to attend such a “San Francisco” wedding.  A few of our guests had never been to the bay area before, so it was fun to show them how beautiful it is here, and why we love it.

Overall, I would definitely say that it was totally worth any problems we encountered to get married at Crissy Field, at least for us.  Just to refresh your memories (or maybe I haven’t told you guys this before), but Mr. Stinkerpants and I decided to start dating exclusively at Crissy Field.  To have our wedding there three years later was so meaningful to us.

And I still can’t believe how wonderful the weather was.  :)

Stinkerpants Wedding: Cultural Ceremonies

September 25, 2008 in Our Wedding • Ceremony • Cultural Stuff • Recap Photos

This post was originally featured on Weddingbee.  To see all of the comments, you'll have to check them out over there!

Guess what?!  We finally got our professional pictures back!!  I love them soooo much.  I love our photographer soooo much.  So, people, let’s get started!

The first part of our day was the Chinese tea ceremony, and the only person who know what was going on was my MIL, who was late (haha).  For awhile we just chatted with Mr. Stinkerpants’ family, who were beginning to trickle in. I will say, it was very surreal to realize that the tea ceremony was about to begin.  I had to remind myself, “hey, this is it.  This is the tea ceremony!”

Mr. Stinkerpants, MIL Pants, me, SIL Pants and FIL Pants.  I think I am trying to get MIL Pants to tell me what to do.  This will be your first glance of my qui pao (Chinese red wedding dress), which I absolutely love.

First, we served tea to my parents.  Sadly, MIL Pants didn’t do a very good job of explaining what we were supposed to do, so most of the tea ceremony was really funny to me, Mr. Stinkerpants and my parents; we all thought we were going to screw up somehow. I am sure the video of this will be hilarious, because there was a lot of giggling as MIL Pants said things like, “NO! Use TWO HANDS for the lai see!”and, “Okay, NOW go.”  In this photo, you can see Momma Pants, trying not to laugh:

Momma Pants, about to give us our Lai See (Chinese red envelopes with money inside):

Serving tea to MIL Pants:

MIL Pants gave me some very beautiful heirloom gold jewelry:

Right after we finished with the tea ceremony, we did the signing of the ketubah (Jewish marriage contract).

Mr. Stinkerpants and I asked our moms to be our witnesses (usually the ketubah is signed by the bride, the groom, two witnesses, and a rabbi), and our officiant served as our “rabbi,” because we didn’t have a rabbi. This is one of many benefits to making your own ketubah.  Instead of “rabbi,” it says “officiant.”

For the ketubah signing, Mr. Stinkerpants donned a yarmulke (Jewish skull cap), which I bought him for the wedding. Check out the gold jewelry I’m wearing!  These were all gifts from MIL Pants during the tea ceremony.  See the jade necklace I’m wearing?  Years ago, MIL Pants bought two: one to give to her daughter on her wedding day, and one to give to her son’s new wife.  How awesome is that?

A close-up of his yarmulke:

The ketubah signing is very straightforward: everyone signed it.

After the ketubah signing, it was time to get ready.  Mr. Stinkerpants went with the groomsmen to a different room in the hotel, and all the ladies stayed with me.

One of the most exciting things about getting our professional photos back was being able to see the things that I didn’t know happened.  For example, Mr. Stinkerpants and I didn’t know that our officiant, Miss K (a close friend of ours), was preparing for her job while we were getting ready:

She brought a book to read out of (so it looked pretty in pictures), and was taking notes!  Seeing these pictures made me feel so blessed to have such a wonderful friend officiating our ceremony.  We seriously would not have wanted anyone else to do it.  More on that later!

Next up, the girls get ready…

The Fate of the Programs

September 5, 2008 in Our Wedding • Ceremony • DIY Projects • Drawings

This post was originally featured on Weddingbee.  To see all of the comments, you'll have to check them out over there!

As you may recall, I was about a quarter of the way through my programs when I accidentally jammed my sewing machine and production STOPPED.  You may also recall that my solution to this problem was to have a cobbler sew the rest of them, but that they were sewn with the wrong color of thread, prompting my major wedding meltdown (even though it really wasn’t that big of a deal).

Well, my friends, I never showed you the final product!  I realized that this morning!  So here they are!  This is the programs as they were supposed to be: zig-zag stitch with black thread:

and the inside:

These are the front of the ones done by the cobbler.  I knew they would be a straight stitch, but I had asked for black thread.  As it turned out, he sewed them with shoe-colored thread.  Light brown on the front and dark brown on the back.

Here’s a close-up of the the front of the program.  Hopefully you can see the grooves/indentations left by the industrial-strength shoe-shop sewing machine:

I knew that was going to happen, too, and decided I didn’t care.  No one even noticed.

Here’s the back of the programs, with the dark brown thread:

As you can see, it didn’t turn out perfectly.  The ones I did are clearly superior (at least in my ever-so-humble opinion, haha), but you know what?  I wasn’t willing to spend all the time, energy and money to get my sewing machine repaired and sew through another 75 programs.  So in the end, all was well!