Stinkerpants

Stinkerpants Wedding: Cultural Ceremonies

September 25, 2008 in Wedding (also on Weddingbee) • Ceremony • Cultural Stuff • Recap Photos

This post was originally featured on Weddingbee.  To see all of the comments, you'll have to check them out over there!

Guess what?!  We finally got our professional pictures back!!  I love them soooo much.  I love our photographer soooo much.  So, people, let’s get started!

The first part of our day was the Chinese tea ceremony, and the only person who know what was going on was my MIL, who was late (haha).  For awhile we just chatted with Mr. Stinkerpants’ family, who were beginning to trickle in. I will say, it was very surreal to realize that the tea ceremony was about to begin.  I had to remind myself, “hey, this is it.  This is the tea ceremony!”

Mr. Stinkerpants, MIL Pants, me, SIL Pants and FIL Pants.  I think I am trying to get MIL Pants to tell me what to do.  This will be your first glance of my qui pao (Chinese red wedding dress), which I absolutely love.

First, we served tea to my parents.  Sadly, MIL Pants didn’t do a very good job of explaining what we were supposed to do, so most of the tea ceremony was really funny to me, Mr. Stinkerpants and my parents; we all thought we were going to screw up somehow. I am sure the video of this will be hilarious, because there was a lot of giggling as MIL Pants said things like, “NO! Use TWO HANDS for the lai see!”and, “Okay, NOW go.”  In this photo, you can see Momma Pants, trying not to laugh:

Momma Pants, about to give us our Lai See (Chinese red envelopes with money inside):

Serving tea to MIL Pants:

MIL Pants gave me some very beautiful heirloom gold jewelry:

Right after we finished with the tea ceremony, we did the signing of the ketubah (Jewish marriage contract).

Mr. Stinkerpants and I asked our moms to be our witnesses (usually the ketubah is signed by the bride, the groom, two witnesses, and a rabbi), and our officiant served as our “rabbi,” because we didn’t have a rabbi. This is one of many benefits to making your own ketubah.  Instead of “rabbi,” it says “officiant.”

For the ketubah signing, Mr. Stinkerpants donned a yarmulke (Jewish skull cap), which I bought him for the wedding. Check out the gold jewelry I’m wearing!  These were all gifts from MIL Pants during the tea ceremony.  See the jade necklace I’m wearing?  Years ago, MIL Pants bought two: one to give to her daughter on her wedding day, and one to give to her son’s new wife.  How awesome is that?

A close-up of his yarmulke:

The ketubah signing is very straightforward: everyone signed it.

After the ketubah signing, it was time to get ready.  Mr. Stinkerpants went with the groomsmen to a different room in the hotel, and all the ladies stayed with me.

One of the most exciting things about getting our professional photos back was being able to see the things that I didn’t know happened.  For example, Mr. Stinkerpants and I didn’t know that our officiant, Miss K (a close friend of ours), was preparing for her job while we were getting ready:

She brought a book to read out of (so it looked pretty in pictures), and was taking notes!  Seeing these pictures made me feel so blessed to have such a wonderful friend officiating our ceremony.  We seriously would not have wanted anyone else to do it.  More on that later!

Next up, the girls get ready…

Program Contents: Jewish Traditions

July 16, 2008 in Wedding (also on Weddingbee) • Ceremony • Cultural Stuff

This post was originally featured on Weddingbee.  To see all of the comments, you'll have to check them out over there!

Wow, you guys, thank you SO much for all of your support the other day.  I feel significantly better after having a meltdown (hahaha) and now things are back to being all business.  :)

The programs are finished (pictures to come a bit later), and even though they are printed with the wrong information, I’m just going to leave it.  I obviously can’t un-sew them, and I’m definitely not willing to start from scratch.  I don’t even feel like putting little pieces of paper inside to correct the error.  My friend Amanda is going to step into my other bridesmaid’s place (thank you Amanda!), so no one is going to wonder why there are only four instead of five.  I am really excited to have Amanda in my bridal party–she’s such a great friend.  :)

Anyway, to follow the intro and Chinese Traditions for the program wording, here’s the Jewish Traditions wording.  I hope some of you find it helpful!

Jewish Traditions

A traditional Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals,
symbolizing the beauty of the relationship of husband and wife,
as well as their obligations to each other and to the Jewish people.
During the ceremony, please take note of the following traditions:

The wedding ceremony takes place under the chuppah (or canopy),
which symbolizes the home to be built and shared by the couple.  We have
asked our parents to hold the four poles of the chuppah as a symbol of their
support and joy in the life we have chosen to build together.  Sara’s mother and
Aunt Maggie have created this very personal chuppah, which includes the Jewish
Star of David and the Chinese symbol for double happiness.  Under the chuppah
the bride and groom wear no jewelry; their mutual commitment is based on
who they are as people, not on any material possessions. The groom wears a
yarmulke (skull cap), symbolizing Jewish identity and loyalty; for our
wedding, this signifies Yorkey’s support of Sara’s history and family.

Two blessings are recited over the wine, which is served in a Kiddush cup (wine cup).
The kiddush cup used in Yorkey and Sara’s ceremony belonged to Sara’s paternal
grandparents, Anne and Jacob Olsher.  A second cup of wine is poured, and the
‘Seven Blessings’ are recited.  These blessings praise God for creating human
beings, and for making the groom and bride as happy as Adam and Eve
were in the Garden of Eden.  The blessings declare, ‘The sound of joy, the
sound of celebration, the voice of the groom, the voice of the bride.’
The Seven Blessings will be recited by Sara’s uncle, Dr. Robert ___.
After the blessings, the bride and groom drink the wine.

The bride and groom place wedding rings on one another’s index fingers,
rather than ring fingers.  The Jewish people believe that the index
finger is the most direct route to the heart.

In addition to a marriage license, the couple signs a Jewish marriage
contract called a ketubah.  Traditionally this is done in private; however,
Yorkey and Sara signed it earlier in the day, directly after the Chinese tea
ceremony. The ketubah, a piece of art created by Sara, will hang in their
home as a reminder of their love and commitment to one another.
If you are curious, it will be displayed at the reception.

The ceremony ends with the groom breaking a glass, which is wrapped in cloth.
This serves to remind us of two very important aspects of a marriage.  First, the
bride and groom should consider these marriage vows as permanent and final as the
breaking of this glass is unchangeable.  It is also a warning of the fragility of marriage.
Sometimes a single thoughtless act or breach of trust can damage a marriage
in ways that are very difficult to undo—just as it would be so difficult to undo the breaking
of the glass.  Knowing that this marriage is permanent, the bride and groom should strive to
show each other the love and respect befitting their spouse and the love of their life.

Join us in wishing the bride and groom your congratulations
by shouting ‘Mazel Tov!’ when the glass is broken!

Program Contents: Intro & Chinese Traditions

July 11, 2008 in Wedding (also on Weddingbee) • Ceremony • Cultural Stuff

This post was originally featured on Weddingbee.  To see all of the comments, you'll have to check them out over there!

Hi Everybody!  When I posted my programs awhile back, some of you were interested in reading about the various cultural stuff we’d included in them.  First comes the intro and the Chinese traditions.  Next time, I’ll post the Jewish traditions.  Hope this helps some of you!

A Cultural Celebration
Our cultures are important parts of who we are as individuals
and as a couple.  It was very important to both of us to include
symbolic Jewish and Chinese traditions in our wedding
ceremony and reception.  In the following pages, you will
find explanations of these traditions.

Chinese Traditions

Earlier in the day, the families of the bride and groom participated
in a traditional Chinese tea ceremony.  The groom’s parents present the bride’s
family with bao (bread buns) and wine, which is then split among the families.
This symbolic gesture represents the two families coming together.  The
couple serves tea to their parents and older relatives as a  sign of respect,
whereupon the couple receives gifts of lai see (red envelopes).

In the bridal suite, the bride had her hair combed four times. The first combing
symbolizes “from beginning to end.”  The second combing means “harmony from
youth through old age.”  The third is a wish for many grandchildren.  The fourth
combing offers hope for wealth and a marriage that lasts a long, long time.

During the reception, the bride will change from her white wedding
gown into a cheongsam (traditional red Chinese bridal dress).
This signifies Sara’s support of Yorkey’s culture and family.

The Ketubah is Finished!

July 10, 2008 in Wedding (also on Weddingbee) • Celebrating Memories • Cultural Stuff

This post was originally featured on Weddingbee.  To see all of the comments, you'll have to check them out over there!

WELL.  What a pain in the neck!  My recent DIY projects have been major headaches, and the ketubah is no different.  As you may recall, I finished the artwork ages ago, but I couldn’t find anyone to do the Hebrew.  It was really hard to find someone to do it, and I was starting to freak out that it might not get done (thus the headache).   I finally found a rabbi at a temple in a nearby town, and he was nice enough to write out the Hebrew for me and format it in 4 different fonts, so I could choose my favorite.  How nice!

As soon as the Rabbi finished the Hebrew, I ran home and formatted the English part, which turned out to be significantly longer than the Hebrew.  I decided to put the lines for us to sign just under the Hebrew, so it looked a little more even.  I put the words onto the ketubah using my gocco machine (more on that in a minute).  Here is the finished project, all framed and matted:

I am really happy with out it turned out, except for one tiny thing:

See that gap?  Yeah, that gap is not supposed to be there.  I had to use my gocco machine as a stamp, which made lining things up very difficult (visibility was poor).  Here’s what I did: I tried my hardest to line the screen up by using pieces of paper, rulers, and tape.  After the screen was face-down on the paper (hopefully lined up), I removed the sticky pad from the machine and rocked it back and forth over the screen.   Then I said a small prayer to myself that it would look good and peeled back the screen.

For the most part, it looked pretty good.  The English was too long to fit on one screen, so my main challenge was lining those two up.  As you can see, they are aligned perfectly on the left & right, but I didn’t get the spacing right (like, at all).  At the end of the day, I don’t think anyone will notice.  However, I wouldn’t recommend this method.  It was scary.

The Hebrew looks good, and I think that gap at the top of the Hebrew makes the one in the English section less noticable:

Close up:

I bought the frame at Michael’s (40% off coupon, baby), and had the mat custom-made at Fast Frame (which was awesome, highly recommended).  All in all, this project cost me about $90, including the frame and mat.  Considering most ketubahs are $200+ without a frame, I’m feeling like I did pretty good, especially since Mr. Stinkerpants and I made ours really personal.  It was a pain in the neck though.  Thank goodness I’m done!

Our Finished Chuppah!

July 3, 2008 in Wedding (also on Weddingbee) • Ceremony • Cultural Stuff • DIY Projects

 This post was originally featured on Weddingbee.  To see all of the comments, you'll have to check them out over there!

I’ve posted a couple of times in the past about the chuppah my mom and aunt made. A couple of weeks ago, my parents came to visit, and they brought a whole bunch of wedding stuff with them. One of those things was the chuppah! Before we got a chance to look at it, we started discussing the ceremony decorations, and we both got a little worried that there was too much color and that the whole thing was going to end up looking like a giant circus. This is not the fault of the chuppah, mind you, but more a combination of the bridesmaid dresses, the chuppah and the lanterns.

Originally my mom and aunt made some colorful knot-things to hang off the side of the chuppah, and we were especially feeling doubtful about those. We really needed to put the whole thing up to see how it looked, but we had no way of doing so because we don’t own any poles. We decided to take the chuppah to Afikomen, the Judaica store in Berkeley were we are renting the poles and stands for the chuppah, just to try it all out. Thankfully, the wonderful people at the store had no problem with our setting up a chuppah in their back lot.

We tried it with the colorful knot things (unfortunately not pictured), but they really didn’t look good. I suggested using white knot things, but we didn’t have any. The only white we had was a table cloth, which weighed one side down so far that it fell on my mom and we couldn’t seem to get it upright again! As it turned out, the white looked like crap, too, so we are going to forget about the hangy things.

So we tried the chuppah naked (without any knot things). We were a little bit worried that the 8 foot poles looked too stark without anything hanging off the sides. However, we also realized that during the ceremony, people (our parents) will be standing by each pole, so maybe that didn’t matter. The poles will only be naked for a short period of time.

After we took the knot things down, we were a still worried about the color. We were kind of concerned that it looked tie-dyed. So, we asked some advice from one of the women who worked at the Judaica store. She liked it, and after looking at it long enough, we decided we liked it too.

I have since decided that I love it, and I must have been on crack to be worried about it (although I am really glad that we ditched the idea of the colorful knot things). Instead, we’re going to add another bit of white ribbon to each side (see where the colorful ribbons are blowing in the wind? Right there). We realized that because it will be an outdoor ceremony, there will be a lot of green and outdoorsy colors to distract from the brightness of the bridesmaid dresses and the chuppah. I think it will look awesome.

Our multicultural chuppah. I guess I hadn’t showed FMIL the chuppah, because when I showed her this picture she said, “OMG! How did they make the double happiness?!” She was very impressed. And so am I.